Adonis

Wed, 10 May 2006 06:49:53 GMT

It wasn't any more work than he'd expected, but... It was just tedious. He'd finished cleaning up everything else. The trick to this was to weave everything together loosely, then put it in place once everything was connected properly.

He didn't have to manipulate every detail, of course. Most things would slide into place without much encouragement, though properly grounding everything was time consuming. The largest amount of 'editing', as it were, was where Gaelon was concerned.

Oddly enough, there were a lot of parallels between what had happened, and how it would happen. It only took a little tweaking here and there to make sure that Gaelon's friendship with Victor was the same, so that he'd still be living in Zaranth. No one would be wondering why Gaelon changed overnight... He'd be pretty much just as they knew him, a few experiences aside. But he never talked about those.

If he'd tried to do this two years ago, it would have been a lot harder.

And then there was S'ten. That had to be altered a little.

He felt a little uncertain about doing it. He didn't like meddling with anyone's lives. He just fixed things so that they went as they should, he didn't manipulate events into happening the way he wanted them to.

But... if he'd learned anything through his experiences, it was that things tended to work out the way they were supposed to, against impossible odds sometimes. If it was meant to be, it would be. If it wasn't, then it wouldn't. Simple enough.

Even though his mind was almost completely occupied with the task at hand, he often found himself thinking about Maelor.

He knew that Maelor knew what had happened. At least the him being dead part. He had a sneaking suspicion that Maelor might be terribly cross with him when he got back. Maybe...

Though, honestly, he'd given up on trying to guess how Maelor was going to react to anything. Even when he thought that he understood him, Maelor still did and said things that left him second-guessing himself.

Whew.

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 12:39:46 GMT

I'm not sure what my problem was last week, but I'm feeling better. It's hard to say, sometimes I pick up on things that don't have much to do with me, and it's difficult to trace the line between what's me and what's something else sometimes. Things get all mixed up and knotted.

Time passes by quickly... It won't be long now.

sigh

Tue, 17 Jan 2006 12:46:13 GMT

I have a horrible headache today. I'm trying not to chalk it up to something that's going to cause me trouble, but it's hard... I'm a somewhat paranoid individual lately.

Despite my eternal struggles to come to terms with my most personal issues, I strangely feel utterly calm and unruffled when it comes to the things that will be set into motion in the near future.

It's almost amusing. I'm fine with weaving a plot that might mean the salvation of two, possible three dimensions, but I seem to be hopeless when it comes to relationships of any kind.

... I've noticed that I'm inclined to be blunt lately. I'm not sure why.

Fri, 23 Dec 2005 08:41:10 GMT

Am I dense, or are things always this confusing?

And if this is what I think it is, I'll be annoyed. I understand perfectly why I wouldn't know about it, but I'm still annoyed, all the same.

Yes, I am aware that I'm being cryptic.

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 22:47:41 GMT

My hair is long again, back to waist length like it was before I cut it. It feels...right, somehow. I don't know, the short haircut wasn't too bad, but I think I'll always like my hair long.

I've been working too much lately. That tends to happen, and I'm not very good at keeping track of time, so it usually takes me a while to realize it. But then, I don't really know what I'd do other than work...The only place I have to go is to my little garden.

I could go back and visit the Temple sometime. They always like it when I come to dance.

Just dropping in...

Mon, 29 Aug 2005 02:11:31 GMT

I just came in for a quick visit, to check on my center and such, make sure that everything is alright. It seems to be.

My visit with Maelor has been very...nice. It's nice here, I think.

I've been feeling strangely apathetic lately, and I think that I finally figured out why.

Maelor is my friend, and I care about him, that much is obvious. Maelor has issues, also obvious. I've tried my best to help with those...I'd honestly like to see Maelor happy. I know that I've helped...

But I keep feeling as if I've reached the limit of my usefulness, really. *sigh* I just don't think that I can do much to help anymore. I don't even know how I helped with anything in the first place...

Maybe I'm just confused. It happens.

Hm.

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 08:05:24 GMT

LIFE as a girl ANIME character... by smartstar
Name
Your wished anime name
Age
Gender
Species	Human
Where you live	Crowded city
Powers	Ice
Favourite weapons	Anything sharp
Pet	Fish
Personality	Friendly
Hair style	Blonde, reaches ankles
Perfect match	Hiei (Yu Yu Hakusho)

Quiz created with MemeGen!

These meme things are strange.

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 04:17:40 GMT

Adonis sighed and took another bite out of the apple that Maelor had given him. He didn't like admitting that he sometimes forgot to eat...well, more often than sometimes. It was embarrassing, and often it was assumed that he did that on purpose. He did just forget...It was something he really needed to work on, he mused.

"You do hate being pathetic, don't you?"

He froze for just a moment. He knew who it was even before he looked.

Kane. Ever since he had first spoken to the vampiric creature, Adonis seemed to have sparked some kind of interest. He did hope that his talk had convinced Kane to be a little less...disruptive. He knew that Kane had a sane side, ruthless and evil as it might have been, he knew better than to cause trouble. Here, at least.

"Yes?" He raised his eyebrows inquiringly at the youth, his thoughtful expression replaced by a cool, stoic look.

"See, there it goes, right there," Kane wandered closer, stopping a few feet away. "I'm told that you used to always be like that. Now you've managed to hide all of it behind that look, when you want to." He chuckled. "It's a shame, you would have been much more fun before."

"Did you have something important to say? I was just on my way out," Adonis looked towards the door. He did not often care to talk about himself, and especially not with Kane.

"Oh, just thought I'd say "hi"...Though I admit, now I'm curious."

"About what?" Adonis steeled himself for any manner of embarrassing questions.

"I was wondering if you plan on luring him into bed with that 'I'm pathetic' routine."

There was a short second of silence. Adonis didn't even think about his reaction, it just happened.

Some time ago, Irvine taught him how to throw a punch. Despite the fact that he protested on the count that he wasn't strong enough for that sort of thing to be very effective. 'If you do it just right,' he'd said, 'a little bit of strength goes a long way. Trust me.'

Judging by the way Kane staggered back, Irvine had been right, even though it was more out of surprise than the force of the hit. Adonis rubbed his hand idly, watching with a cold look.

"That," he said calmly, "was exceptionally rude."

Kane stared at him....blinked...and grinned, a mad sort of glee in his eyes.

"Yes, it was. Uncalled for, too," he laughed. "But I couldn't resist, surely you understand." He idly felt his jaw. "That wasn't bad at all," he added, still grinning. "Especially for a pacifist sort like yourself."

"I've changed," Adonis said simply. Some things have changed, he added silently, but some things never will.

Without another word, he stepped away and strode over to the door, not wavering any even though he still feel rather weak. For some reason, that had been oddly gratifying.

Kane let him go, and was still chuckling to himself as he disappeared.

A song

Tue, 02 Aug 2005 03:43:59 GMT

This happened to come up on my playlist...

I need some sleep
It can't go on like this
I tried counting sheep
But there's one I always miss
Everyone says I'm getting down too low
Everyone says you just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go

I need some sleep
Time to put the old horse down
I'm in too deep
And the wheels keep spinning 'round
Everyone says I'm gettin' down too low
Everyone says you just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go

You just gotta let it go

I've gotten off a few days from work. If anyone wants to know where I'm at, Shard knows, just ask him.

sighs

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 03:49:43 GMT

Ended up in Medical again.

I really dislike being there, but at least I was able to get out. I might have even had permission...maybe...

I keep feeling as if something is just drifting right over my head, and I completely lack the ability to grasp it. Yet I'm aware of it. It's like reaching for the stars. You can always see them, but they're impossibly distant. I feel that if I could reach it, somehow, I would understand. I would stop feeling as if I'm walking around in a sort of impervious bubble.

At least, I hope so. Sometimes I worry that I'm broken, and I won't ever be able to feel or live like a relatively 'normal' human.

But thinking like that is very "mopey", I'm told, so I try to avoid it.

...

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 03:14:23 GMT

Adonis hadn't gotten more than a few steps outside the lounge when he nearly collapsed. He leaned against the wall and tried to refocus his gaze. It was always extremely unpleasant when that happened - when someone intentionally yanked on the threads around him like that. It was a very rude way to get his attention, to say the least.

"What do you want?" He swallowed. Still, several places in the opposite wall were swimming, as if it were water instead of something solid. It was only his perception that was reeling, however, there was nothing actually moving anymore.

There was no reply. Not even a ripple.

Adonis frowned and pushed himself away from the wall, managing not to waver. It wasn't sentient, whatever it was. Just some random warping of the feild nearby which he'd happened to have gotten the bad end of...It wasn't uncommon. Although it went largely unnoticed by most of HQ's residents until it caused an outright plothole, these things were the frequent problems that he had to deal with.

Suddenly a half-transparent form burst from the opposite wall and landed on the floor with an almost audible splat.

Well, maybe it wasn't random.

"...Jack?"

It was indeed the "resident ghost" as he was sometimes referred to as, but he wasn't in the best shape.

"Oh, aye, I guess now you want to tell me that cutting the red wire was a bad idea, eh, EH?" Jack peered up at him challengingly.

"You've been flitting through alternate dimensions again." Adonis pointed out, sighing.

The ghost flickered. "No," he said flatly and disappeared.

Adonis sighed again. Well, he'd be back to normal soon enough. Why was he in such a rotten mood, anyway? And why had he been wandering around outside of HQ? He rarely did so.

He didn't know. He'd figure it all out later when he could actually think straight.

Things Changing

Fri, 22 Jul 2005 09:47:02 GMT

I've been alone for so long, I'm starting to wonder if I even remember what it's like to not be. It was always one thing or another that kept me distanced from everyone else I associated with at all. Generally it was the fact that I see things...but not always. I grew accustomed to being alone. I work better alone, though I'm not allergic to teamwork.

It's only recently, after the ordeal of the last few months, that I suddenly come by this feeling that's telling me that I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't know why. Why should I want close relationships now when I've never had them before, and have little clue of how to aquire or maintain them?

Hormones possibly have a part in it. For a long time I repressed them. I had to shove everything even remotely distracting back into a corner of my mind. Unfortunately, most of what makes me human is distracting, and I found out quickly that I didn't like doing that. Still, I had no choice.

So I've been reminded that I do have hormones. I am a somewhat social creature at heart, at least a little.

Still, this hardly does me much good, to realize it. I'm stuck in a demanding job, even if it weren't for that, my odd abilities would confuse and bother people unfamiliar with that sort of thing, I think. That, and there are plenty of pretty ladies around HQ, but not many men. Even less that aren't currently involved.

I don't really know what I want.

I don't know the first thing about...being human anymore...

It's rather depressing.